According to Martin Seligman and John Tierney in the May 19th NY Times Sunday Review, humans are not built to live n the moment. “What best distinguishes our species is an ability that scientists are just beginning to appreciate: we contemplate the future,” and “the power of prospection is what makes us wise.”
The authors tell us there are other species that look ahead, but no further than a few minutes at a time – squirrels bury their nuts to prepare for the winter by instinct, not due to knowledge. Ants build their dwellings cooperatively due to genetic wiring, not because of foresight or socialization.
We are so frequently encouraged to become mindful about our present, to live in the moment and for the moment. Yet our ultimate goal still seems to be long term success. There’s always a next step. And thoughts about that next step, about our future, can lead to optimism or to depression, depending upon our individual outlook.
Primary school prepares us for high school which prepares us for college which leads us to a career – or at least a job – which allows us to potentially secure housing and food and care for a family. We save money to prepare for that family, send our kids to school so they can go through the same sequence of events. When we indulge in something like a piece of chocolate layer cake, it’s amazing for that moment – but then we tend to remind ourselves about healthy eating for our longevity.
At Baby Fingers, we offer our signature Sign & Song classes to engage families in an opportunity to bond and communicate. We look to the benefits of the sign language and the music to foster relationships and jump-start language. There are definite long-term benefits with regard to secure attachments, spatial reasoning skills, literacy and vocabulary attainment. But we also hope that the classes – the time spent each week together – provide something unique and special in that moment… that the experience in and of itself is what will be treasured, and the possible benefits later in the day or months down the road will be an added bonus.
Years ago, a parent inquiring about our program asked me – in all seriousness – if attending Baby Fingers classes with her baby will help the child get into Harvard later, since there have been studies indicating that signing as babies can lead to an increase in IQ. It’s solid research with the subjects that were used – but there are tremendous variables and it’s certainly not why we developed our program.
I know how hard it is to live in the moment – clearly we weren’t built to do so. My younger son worked all last year to be able to make his varsity baseball team this year. My older son worked to score well enough on the ACT to be accepted into a good college. I have gone to work every day in part for the “reward” that comes later, helping me to pay rent and buy groceries.
At least the article indicates that the great majority of humans are looking ahead not at their morbidity but at the positive and wonderful things that lay ahead. So let’s learn from our past, treasure special memories, and take the time to truly enjoy the present moment, while we look ahead and prepare for a healthy, happy future. We hope Baby Fingers plays a part in your yesterday, today, and tomorrow.