So many kids in so many places are back to school already. At Baby Fingers we’re still enjoying the tail end of summer here in the city with a few more classes to offer, and then our full load of programs will resume in September and October, with some new additions too!
What’s different for me this year is that by the end of August, our kids will both be back to school away from home. BOTH IN COLLEGE! Yes, that’s a first to celebrate. Not only for the kids, but also for us. Parenting changes the relationship – for better or for worse. I remember having trouble getting pregnant the first time and my OB/GYN said “Have a glass of wine and relax, enjoy each other – because once you do have these kids they’ll be grown up before you know it and it’s back to just the two of you.” So true. Here we are. And maybe that’s for another post.
Looking back at “firsts” with regard to school, I remember my older son’s first day at nursery school. It was January, not September, but he was 2 years 8 months and ready. He even helped his friend, who was 2 years 4 months, to finish potty training at school. Separation wasn’t an issue – he was excited to be there and he knew we’d be back. Plus, it was a co-op, so we were involved in the classroom on a rotating basis.
My younger son’s first school experience was with me as his teacher – I had a Baby Fingers nursery at the time. He was 2 yrs 4 mos, potty trained and friendly. He helped his classmates feel better when their parents said goodbye; he would bring them a tissue, pat their backs, and say “it’s okay, mommy comes back.” But the following year when he attended preschool that wasn’t mine – he threw me for a loop. His first day was great; his brother had gone there for preK after 1 ½ school years at the co-op nursery. We had also visited the classroom and met the teacher, so it was familiar and he separated with no problem. It was a fun day for him and a relief for me. Day two was a different story. When he realized that he was staying again, and I was leaving again, that adorable but heart breaking lower lip curled down and the tears began; it was almost too much to bear. I hugged and kissed him, mentioned the fun he had the day before, and reminded him that mommy always comes back. Then I said goodbye and walked out, getting only as far as the director’s office where I broke down into tears myself. She comforted me, promised me he’d be okay, and I was off to work. She called me about half hour later to tell me that within only a few minutes he was playing and doing just fine. And he was fine from there onward. Of course I knew he would be, but it wasn’t an easy process.
There have been so many firsts – teeth, signs, walking, talking, haircuts, high school, girlfriends, driver’s licenses! But even though my kids went to overnight camp, we didn’t have to separate. Lucky them, I worked at the camp ?. So it wasn’t easy when our older son started college. I couldn’t believe we were there already, and I missed him. But the younger one starting this year is a whole new first. The term “empty nest” is wonderful and terrifying at the same time.
One of my friends at the college where I teach is the mom of 3 who are now all away at school. We both deal with kids that age at work, and help them through some transitions… Well, her youngest started college last fall, and my friend was dreading it because they’re very close. She missed her terribly – for a day. Then she realized that missing her was good, and that having her own time at home was important. She began to enjoy the space, the flexibility in her day, the opportunities, and the quiet. That all has helped her to really appreciate the time together when one, two or all three of her kids are back home. This past spring, her oldest graduated from college and moved out of town as a professional – that’s another first I’m not quite ready to tackle. It’s enough that my older one is moving off campus to a “real” apartment. At least he’s still in college – for now.
So we’re celebrating a lot this fall as we prepare to go back to school. What’s one first you’re celebrating this fall? If you haven’t been to a Baby Fingers class yet, you can make that a first – and then your baby’s first sign, and it just explodes from there! We look forward to sharing your firsts – back to school time and all year long.