By Lora Heller
I remember my older son at almost 6 1/2 months saying “I love you.”
Well actually, he signed it. His sign was an approximation of the ILY hand shape in ASL and was one of the most memorable moments as a parent. It was absolutely in context as he responded to our daily routine of signing ‘good morning, I love you.’
It’s a cause for celebration when children begin to use language! And it’s important to recognize that first words may not be spoken but might instead be signed. Children who sign aren’t ‘non-verbal’. That label carries with it a stigma and an assumption that there may not be expressive language at all. Whether they are deaf or hearing, when children have a vocabulary of signs, they are indeed ‘verbal’. ASL is a full language of its own. SO let’s celebrate first signs! Let’s spread the joy and fill up the internet with videos of first signs! Of course the first word videos are loads of fun – the ‘first time hearing’ videos can be lovely, though it’s important to recognize how overwhelming it can be for the little ones and how much work lies ahead for that sound to have meaning.
It’s true that my kids are hearing, as am I. But I’d have to look back into my journals for a reminder of their first spoken words. While I’m sure I was very excited to hear them speak, they had already been using language for many, many months. They had already signed ‘read’ or ‘bath time.’ They had signed ‘angry’ when they wanted to do something without help, and ‘mama sad?’ when I was actually crying happy tears. They had already asked for ‘more music’ or ‘more crackers please’. They signed ‘girl outside fun’ to tell me that they played with a friend or ‘daddy train work’ to remind me that we had said goodbye to daddy at the last subway stop so he could go to work.
It was signing with my kids that exposed them to language from the moment they were born in a way that they’d be able to use with me sooner than later; a language that could be theirs completely if they were unable to hear and that could connect them with others regardless of hearing. It was signing with my kids that made it natural for them to sign with their peers at school who had disabilities (they were in a collaborative, integrated public school) and to feel comfortable with my Deaf friends. It was signing with my kids that helped them to understand the Spanish words their babysitter used, and signing or fingerspelling that helped them learn to read and comprehend new or challenging vocabulary words. We signed with Deaf travelers at the airport, they alerted me when they noticed that a family at a nearby table in a restaurant was talking in ASL about movies… We signed when we knew there were Deaf people around; when it was just a more natural way to really express how we were feeling in the moment; when we wanted to tell each other something but we were too far away to talk, or we knew we needed to be quiet or discreet.
When my older son was 5, he knew it was not polite to talk with his mouth full. So at a friend’s birthday party, his mouth stuffed with pizza, he signed to me ‘more pizza please mommy.’
So let’s keep signing and let’s celebrate first words however they’re expressed.
Not sure how to get started? Ask us! We offer classes and programs for students of all ages, infant through adult, hearing – D/deaf – disabled… If you have a child who is deaf, we have resources and connections for you! Info@mybabyfingers.com