One of my fondest parenting memories is so much more than that… My two kids and I were at the Carousel in Central Park. They must have been about one and three at the time. There we were with our wide double stroller, nearing the end of a lovely long day outdoors, when it suddenly began to rain. And I mean RAIN. We were mid-park, around 30 blocks from home which is no big deal in good weather. Did I mention it was raining? REALLY raining. We were far from any access to a subway, bus, or taxi. So we stood under the overhang of the carousel with several others who were waiting to see how long it would take to pass. The music played and people of all sizes bobbed up and down as they continued in circles on the merry-go-round.
After a few minutes of watching the rain, and listening to the drops on the roof begin to drown out the carousel music, I began silently stressing about the fact that I had just buckled my kids into the stroller and we had been out all day without much in the way of naps (if at all). I was probably hungry too; I often forgot to add something for myself in our bag of snacks. Before long, I heard my older son say “Mommy, can I dance in the rain?” There was no thunder or lightning. It was a warm summer day. His expression melted my heart, so I smiled at him and nodded. He unbuckled his own stroller belt before galloping out into the wide open grass, splashing his way to the perfect dance floor. Not a moment later, my little one looked up at me longingly and pointed out to his brother. So I unbuckled him and we held hands as we joined big brother dancing to the uneven rhythm of the rain.
I honestly don’t remember if we also walked home in the rain since we were already soaked, or if the sun returned and dried us off at all on our journey home. But I remember being home again and being happy. Dancing in the rain was an opportunity to let go, to live in the moment, to see the world a little differently and remember why I wanted to have kids in the first place. The rain wasn’t an obstacle for my son, it was part of the adventure.
The parks near us have continued to be a place for fun and adventure; also for self-care. During Covid, the parks have provided a destination for safe excursions outside regardless of the weather. They provide a change of scenery, an ever changing landscape of colors and textures, yet familiarity and comfort. They offer conversation starters and plenty of space to get lost in my own thoughts. I’m often filled with memories while I walk through the parks, reminded of moments and days with my kids like the one I described above. I try to unplug, to enjoy my time alone or with whomever might be walking beside me… and to appreciate my life as a wife and business owner, as a daughter and a friend, as a parent and a role model, despite the challenges along the way. My kids have taught me so much.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, this past Sunday (Oct. 10th) was World Mental Health Day. As a music therapist who teaches about mental illnesses on the college and graduate level, discussions of mental wellness and self care are essential. I also remind our parents at Baby Fingers about the importance of their own well being. Self care doesn’t have to be a full day at an expensive spa, or a shopping spree… it can be an extra 10 minutes in the shower to wash your hair, or a relaxing walk through the park. We can’t drink from an empty cup and we have to put on our own oxygen masks first. Cliche? Maybe, but true. As I mentioned above, I often forgot to pack my own snacks. I rarely dressed warm enough to spend hours in the snow when we went out sledding in the winter, and I didn’t usually think to put on a swim suit so I could run through the sprinklers with my kids on the playground in the summer. I found myself resentful at times feeling that no one was looking out for me. But then I realized I could look at it all differently by joining in and making it that much more mutual, reciprocal, enjoyable, and so very memorable… like the day we danced in the rain.